Perimenopause and Drunk Dialing

When was the last time you were drunk dialed?  I got drunk dialed by a high school friend and it was a Wednesday!

I haven’t spoken with her in a year or more (my bad, that’s not how to nourish a friendship).  But it was awesome.  Why?  Because things come out unfiltered.  Because I could hear her (very good) husband in the background and I knew she was safe.  Because she broke my heart a little.

Long, funny conversation short, she is struggling in Perimenopause.  She is also having issues where lifestyle changes could make a big impact.  Oh, and if you are wondering about her being drunk.  She had only had 1 ½ glasses of wine… she thinks it was related to new medication and met with her pharmacist to have her look over all the stuffs.

The next day, we had a real 2 hour conversation.  She is dealing with Perimenopause weight gain, thyroid inconsistencies, muscle loss, inflammation, mood swings, depression (even though her normal self is jolly) age 49, married with 2 late teen kids and she had two major surgeries in the last few months.  When she was describing herself she said,  “I guess depression?  I basically stayed in my room all last year.”  Yeah.  That sounds pretty depressing. 

Perimenopause can sneak up because we don’t know about it and our society isn’t talking much about it.  It can seem to slam us all at once and we don’t know where to start.  Not to mention that we used to do isn’t working anymore.  We might get put on antidepressants or offered weight loss medication, when it is not what we need.  The worst part?  We just think there is something wrong with us because we haven’t been taught any different. ACK!!

I’m so sorry to my dear friend.  I know information that could have helped you not suffer so much, please forgive me for not sharing earlier and it’s NOT too late.  You can still make a huge impact on how the rest of this goes! 

How do I feel Better in Perimenopause? 

Glad you wondered.

The needle movers in Perimenopause:

• Food 
• Movement 
• Relationships
• Growth

It’s not rocket science.  But there is science involved, and it’s not complicated.

FOOD –

– to balance your hormones and feel good in your body.  It is essential to look at your food consumption and adjust to support who you are now to who you are becoming.  

We all know less processed food and less sugar (always, ack, it’s everywhere).  

The latest science is saying women need more real food fiber and less carbs at midlife to manage perimenopause well. – This will be a whole blog post on its own, and I’ve got you on this. –  Science is also saying women (and men) need more protein as we age.  We may not be as efficient at assimilating it as when we were in college.  Healthy fats is the other needle mover in our food.  Olive oil, coconut oil, avocados.

Movement –

It’s more fun to have a round butt, flatter belly and strong shoulders…. and those are the side effects of what movement really does for you. What it really does for you is get rid of the yuckies and produce good chemicals that make you feel good. 

Relationships – 

to feel better about yourself and be the woman you want to be.

Friends, Spouse/Lover, Children, Family are all part of the needle movers, and you are the common denominator.  Each will give you something the other does not.  Not having one or the other does not make you lesser, and you get access to what each may bring in a different way. 

No Spouse?  More time… for yourself, or to work, spend time with friends, hobbies, self care, freedom of schedule.  What do you miss?  Possibly safety and security, deep emotional intimacy on a regular basis, someone to reflect to you who you are daily, physical pleasure and intimacy with someone else. 

No children? Self care bonus time, fewer obligations in general, brain space not occupied by keeping small humans alive, sleep,  What do you miss?  Taking care of something other than yourself (less self focus),  dealing with the things that come up from your own childhood as you raise your kids.  Not that you don’t have access to work through those things otherwise, but kids are a quick path if you let them be.  Not easy work, but valuable to becoming your most magnificent self.

Growth –

This is such a broad world and there are possibilities all around it in abundance.  Slow yourself down to see them.  Observe and see.  Don’t just frantically look around.